Slow Burn (Sharing Space #3)
Slow Burn
Sharing Space – Book Three
By Nina Perez
Copyright© 2013 Nina Perez
All rights reserved.
Thank you…
MJ Heiser and Steven Novak. It’s always a pleasure working with you both.
Sophie, you were the first to ever read this.
To my parents and family. Much love.
DKJ. Love you always.
Table of Contents
Chapter One: Not So Shining Moments
Chapter Two: A Tale of Two Men
Chapter Three: Setting The Record Straight
Chapter Four: Home Sweet Home
Chapter Five: When the Masks Come Off, Part 1
Chapter Six: When the Masks Come Off, Part 2
Chapter Seven: When the Masks Come Off, Part 3
Chapter Eight: When the Masks Come Off, Part 4
Chapter Nine: Make It Better
Chapter One
Not So Shining Moments
Patrick
I must have set some sort of record for quickly going from feeling pretty damn good to feeling like the world’s biggest asshole. I wasn’t sorry that Chloe and I had kissed, and I was certain that kissing had nothing to do with having too much wine. I kissed her because she was beautiful. I kissed her because I’d just had one of the most relaxing and comforting nights I’d ever spent with a woman and I wanted to feel her. I kissed her because we were both hurting and she looked like she needed it. I know I did. I wanted to tell her all of that, but her eyes had darkened and she was looking at me as if I was insane.
“What do you mean you’re not done?”
Realizing what she meant, I tried to clear it up. “No, no, not that. If you want to stop this, whatever this is, then of course we’ll stop. I just meant…”
I was at a loss for words. I knew what I felt. I didn’t want the night to end. I could have stayed up all night talking to Chloe, touching her, laughing with her, just being with her if she’d let me but, from the expression on her face, it seemed that was quite possibly the last thing she wanted. Even if I could manage to put how I was feeling into words, Chloe looked as if she didn’t want to hear it.
“You’re right. We just had too much to drink and… we’re both kind of needy right now.”
“Yeah. Exactly. I’m sorry. I… I’m going to bed.”
Chloe turned and left the kitchen. I watched her go. I didn’t want to, but I did.
***
The next few weeks passed without a single word between us—at least not verbally. The morning after the hottest time I’d ever spent in a kitchen, I awoke to find Chloe already gone and a note on the fridge.
Patrick, I know you’re probably tired of me saying this, but I’m really sorry about last night. You were right. We were both needy and hurting, and this whole living arrangement is still new to both of us. I hope what happened won’t make it uncomfortable for us to continue living together. I’m happy you’re here. C.
She was right about one thing. I was tired of hearing how sorry she was that we kissed. I also didn’t like how she kept referring to it. It was kissing. Okay, so it was a bit more than kissing. Any time I allowed myself to remember what it felt like to have Chloe’s body pressed against mine, I had to admit that things were definitely headed in the exact opposite direction of innocent kissing. How far it would have gone will forever be a mystery, but I know how far I wanted it to go. And I knew enough about women to know Chloe wanted it too.
She avoided me for the next few weeks. Her new project at work kept her working late most evenings, but even on the weekends she managed to find reasons to be out of the apartment. The few times we were home at the same time I was tempted to confront her, force her to talk to me, acknowledge me, anything. We didn’t have to talk about what happened between us, but did we each have to pretend that the other didn’t exist?
Then I became angry. We’d done nothing wrong and if she wanted to act like she lived alone then I definitely wasn’t going to force her to pay attention to me. We were both too old to play games, but my ego refused to let me be the first one to break. I was doing a good job at living in my own little fantasy world where I didn’t miss the company of a woman I could not stop thinking about, when just the mention of her name was like a kick in the gut.
“So I met Chloe yesterday.”
I glanced over at Kelly Kennedy. I slowed my pace on the treadmill a bit but Kelly, running on an identical machine next to me, didn’t miss a step. There was really no reason for me to be so surprised. I had mentioned to Kelly a few weeks ago that Chloe’s company would be contacting her representation with an offer from Raven Cosmetics. Due to a combination of a great offer and my assurance that she’d be in Chloe’s capable hands, Kelly had signed a contract a few days prior.
“Really?”
Yeah, I know, but it was all I had.
“She’s very nice.”
“Yup.”
“And smart, too. I just signed on to do a guest spot on Shannon’s World and—” Realizing I had no idea what that was, Kelly explained. “It’s a cable show for teenage girls. It stars Shannon Becker.”
“I have no idea who that is.”
Kelly sighed. “She’s like Lindsay Lohan before all the bad decisions. I was originally hired to play a fictional model-slash-actress who comes to Shannon’s town to judge a local modeling competition that Shannon and her enemy both want to win.”
“Fascinating.”
“I know, but listen to this. Chloe came up with this idea where I would instead play myself judging a competition for Raven Cosmetics. They took the idea to Raven and the network and they loved it. I’m so excited!”
Kelly had every reason to be excited. Her star was on a steady rise. She was also from Roman Glen and we had gone to high school together, although I was a year ahead. I was vaguely aware of who she was, being such a small town and all. She was the pretty popular captain of the dance squad and a member of the drama club. We hadn’t gotten to know one another until years later when we were in the same acting class. Kelly had a successful three-year run on a popular soap opera, Shining Moments, before leaving to try her hand at the big leagues—movies.
“Puh-lease,” she’d said when I asked her at the time if she was sure she wanted to leave a sure thing for the uncertainty of the big screen. “If things don’t work out, Moments will take me back like that.” She had snapped her fingers for emphasis.
“But they’re killing off your character,” I reminded her.
“Patrick, no one stays dead on a soap opera,” she said.
Kelly was right. I shouldn’t have worried. Within six months of being off the soap she was cast as Bruce Willis’ lover who gets killed in his latest action film. Due to that role, plus a scorching hot spread in Maxim magazine, Kelly was on everyone’s “It” list. The changes had worked in Kelly’s favor. She was always a pretty girl with a nice body, but once she decided she wanted to spread her wings one of the first things she did was hire me to become her personal trainer. She’d looked like the typical girl next door with her straight blonde hair, sky blue eyes, and round face, but after working out with me for the past two years she now looked leaner, more sophisticated, and sexier, yet not too sexy. This is what made her perfect for the new Raven campaign.
“She’s also really pretty.”
“Who?” I asked, knowing damn good and well who she’d meant.
“Chloe.”
“Yes, she is.”
“Are you two a thing?”
“No,” I answered a bit too quickly.
“Patrick, it’s okay if you are. We’re not dating anymore.”
Dating was probably too strong of a definit
ion. After spending so much time together in class it just seemed like the natural progression for things to turn romantic. If you want to call random, middle of the night hook-ups romantic. It got old after a while and I called things off. I didn’t feel good about where things were going and I sensed that Kelly wasn’t happy either. She wanted more and I didn’t. When I put an end to our sexual relationship she assured me that our friendship would remain intact, but sometimes I had doubts. She got mean and jealous whenever I went out on even a casual date. There was no way I was going to discuss Chloe with Kelly. I’m a lot of things, but stupid ain’t one of them.
“Chloe and I are just roommates.”
I turned to find Kelly watching me as she jogged. Her blonde ponytail bounced left and right. Her face told me she didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth.
“I’m going to shower,” Kelly said, turning off the treadmill. “I’ll meet you at the juice bar.”
Way to go, Patrick.
Taking her cue, I also went to shower. I hoped that by the time we were both done she’d be in a better mood or else it would be a long day. Kelly was coming over to help me rehearse lines for an audition I had in the next few days. Thanks to her contacts, I’d landed an audition for Shining Moments and was reading for the part of a good guy turned bad boy after a motorcycle accident leaves him brain damaged. It’s not like I had high hopes; after all, the part was being vacated by a fan favorite and the buzz was that the producers were looking to replace him with someone recognizable. They wanted to cast someone who’d done soaps before. I wasn’t going into the auditions expecting much, but I was looking forward to the opportunity to get my face and name out there. It was common knowledge that if the casting personnel of one soap really liked you, they’d keep you in mind for future roles.
When we got to the apartment, Kelly wasted no time in getting to work. This was fine with me. I would rather she were already gone when Chloe got home.
“Which scene do you want to do first?” Kelly asked, kicking off her shoes and taking a seat on the sofa.
“Let’s go with the diagnosis. It’s the one I think I have the best handle on.”
We had two scenes to practice with. One involved the character, Drake Burton, being told that his condition was irreversible. The second was a scene between Drake and his longtime love, Carly. Drake is trying to gently let Carly down by explaining that, due to his brain injury, he no longer had feelings for her. The scene ends with Carly planting a passionate kiss on Drake and Drake remaining unresponsive.
Kelly and I went through the first scene a few times until I felt comfortable with it. After reading through the second scene nearly a dozen times I still felt as if I wasn’t getting it. I wasn’t sure of my chances of getting the gig, but I wanted to make sure they remembered me.
“Try to find something to draw from, Patrick. Although Drake no longer has romantic feelings for Carly, he still cares for her as a person. He’s trying to be both stern and unwavering as he lets her down, but he also wants to be compassionate without getting her hopes up. Haven’t you ever had to do something like that?”
I thought of my relationship with Kelly, but I couldn’t tell her that. I hoped my eyes didn’t betray me, but as I searched Kelly’s face I knew she was thinking the same thing. Her face turned a bright red and she cleared her throat.
“Well, good. This should be easy then.”
We read through the scene again and, although there was some improvement, I still wasn’t satisfied.
“Once more?”
“Sure.” Kelly shrugged.
We recited the lines again, complete with moving about the living room as if we were in Carly Buchanan’s small cottage. At the end of the scene Kelly did something she hadn’t done previously. She leaned in to plant the seductive, yet pleading, kiss on me that Carly hoped would sway Drake.
At that exact moment Chloe entered the apartment. And she wasn’t alone.
Chapter Two
A Tale of Two Men
Chloe
If I have one flaw—and yes, I am aware that I have more than one, but if I had to pick one that seemed to annoy people, and even myself sometimes—it would be my habit of writing letters to those I’d rather not have an uncomfortable conversation with.
When we were kids, Crystal had a birthday party at Uncle Troy’s restaurant. I felt that she was completely ignoring me to hang out with her friends from school. When she asked me what was up with my funky attitude, instead of being honest I waited until she wasn’t looking and slipped a note written on a napkin into her dress pocket.
She never found it, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m fully aware that I have avoidance issues when it comes to confrontations, especially ones where I may come out looking the fool. Even now, years later, I found it easier to mail Crystal a card apologizing for our fight—even though I wasn’t backing down from my feelings on Jermaine—and letting her know that I still wanted to come over on Halloween and see Brianna in her costume.
My note to Patrick was definitely taking the coward’s way out. I just couldn’t face him after what happened in the kitchen. I couldn’t even bring myself to say what had happened out loud. We kissed. And kissed. And kissed some more. I had pressed my body against his so hard it was as if I was trying to get inside of him instead of the other way around. Patrick didn’t bring up the note or what happened between us, though it’s not like I gave him the opportunity. I began spending vast amounts of time at the office or in my room. The yoga class had become a lifeline and there was no way I was giving it up. I opted for attending ones given when Patrick wasn’t scheduled to work.
After a few days of avoiding him I became annoyed that Patrick hadn’t tried to talk to me about it. Silly, I know. I’d basically brushed him off and made it clear that I didn’t want to face him, but there was a part of me that wanted him to at least try. That was perhaps my biggest problem with what I now referred to as The Incident. What did it mean? How did he feel about it? Sure, I was upset over my fight with Crystal and it felt good to talk to someone who seemed to understand, but kissing Patrick had nothing to do with sympathy and wine. It had everything to do with the fact that I had wanted to. And I wanted him.
I’m not sure when it happened or how, but somewhere along the way I’d developed feelings for my roommate. I missed him when he wasn’t around and he was the first person I wanted to share good news with and the first person I wanted to talk to when I needed consoling. If I admitted this to him and he didn’t feel the same way, I’d feel like an idiot. I don’t know anyone who takes rejection well, especially from the opposite sex, and there’d been enough male rejection in my life recently.
Thoughts of Patrick even invaded my concentration at work. When Lila and I met with Kelly Kennedy and her manager, I couldn’t help but notice how striking she was in person, and I wondered if Patrick thought so too. How fifth grade was that? I couldn’t afford to be distracted, considering how well things were going. My idea to incorporate product placement into Kelly’s appearance on a popular television show was well received by both the producers of the show and the people at Raven Cosmetics. Lila was so impressed she requested that she and I go out for lunch soon to discuss the possibility of me joining one of her creative teams.
Even though I was hesitant to share my good news with Myra, considering her feelings towards the people at Braxton & Lloyd, I had to tell someone. Since Crystal and Patrick were out, I allowed Myra to buy me lunch to celebrate. We decided on a Spanish restaurant not far from the office, which we normally wrote off as too expensive, but this was a special occasion.
“I’m excited. Finally I’ll get to do more than schedule meetings and book flights for other people. No offense.”
“None taken,” Myra replied as she raised her margarita glass in a mock toast. “And you get a bigger office.”
“And I’ll be using my brain to come up with creative concepts and—”
“And more money.”
> I tried to give Myra a dirty look, but it didn’t work. She was right, and we both knew it. This change in position would come with a considerable raise in salary, and I could use it. The dirty look gave way to a small smile.
“Fine. And more money.” We touched glasses in a toast to my bank account.
“Now, just be careful…”
“Myra, don’t start.”
“What? I’m just saying. Watch your back, that’s all. You think they want to see a sistah moving up?”
“If that were true, why would Lila even consider promoting me?”
“Because you’re smart, capable, and adding you to the creative team makes her look better.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean, but that doesn’t make you any less smart, creative, or capable, and I’m proud of you, girl.”